I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
