just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
