she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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