Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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