Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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