its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
