dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
