and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
