got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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