so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
