You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
