i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize