I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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