i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
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