? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize