The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
