im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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