I'm jealous of your bromance
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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