She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
