I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
