oh god the rape fog is back!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize