I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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