thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
