Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
