I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
ok first of all what the fuck
PANTIES FOUND
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize