we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
