pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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