Kiss
Puke
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
