we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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