dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
