She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
