I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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