I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize