Do you still have your period?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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