haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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