I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
pray to the hookup gods
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
