k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
