Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
