I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
