Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
