can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Someone signed my nipple.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
