i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
