I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
