After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
