So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize