It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
