You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
