is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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