Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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