Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
