Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
