Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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