Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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