either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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