SEEEEXXX PLEASE
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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