I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it's like iHOP with fire
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize