walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
