i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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