Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
