One girl and one boy is just not enough.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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