are you so shy because you have an std?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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